Just as with skin, or the surface of plants, boundaries are required for interconnection.
With this simple experiment, one can practise navigating the world with more agency.
There is a beauty in our interconnectedness with human and beyond human life on this planet. Yet we need the ability to discern responses to “the other”, such as: what is needed now and how much? What is needed to be let in to nourish, or what is harmful and needs to stay out? Or where can there be contact with “others” in order to be stronger?
Membranes are adaptable and negotiating sense-making tools to measure ourselves in their environment. Just as with skin, or the surface of plants, boundaries are required for interconnection.
By having access to states of a “membrane awareness” we can have a discerning sense of self awareness, be with other people’s pain and potentially minimise our distress that is often transferred when in connection with others, “take in” what nourishes our soul, and show up in the world in an embodied way.
This inquiry can be done alone, in a busy space or with another person that feels safe enough to give this a try with.
Tool: Somatic exercise with audio guide
Duration: ~ 10-15 mins
Contributor: Christa Cocciole is a Berlin-based Body Oriented Systems Therapist and Consultant for Embodied Leadership. She weaves her background as a dancer, choreographer, and social activist combined with her spiritual practice, into an approach she has coined “Radical Presence: moving with playful compassion”. With her work she supports organisations and communities in order to strengthen resilience and systemic social impact.
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About this practice
Membranes and Entanglement Exercise
About this practice
This exercise is derived from the work and inspired by the rich conversations with Somatic Activist and Ecosomatic pioneer, Satu Palokangas.
She says that the paradox of an entangled life is that it requires boundaries, such as cell membranes, in order to foster both connection and separation.
“Membranes delineate the boundaries of individual cells, safeguarding their internal environment while at the same time allowing measured exchanges with the external world. Membranes serve as conduits for communication and cooperation among cells, facilitating the emergence of complex biological networks. Because of membranes, life’s myriad shapes can form.”
In other words, as writer and founder of the Embodiment Institute, Prentis Hemphill, says:
“Boundaries are the distance in which I can love you and me simultaneously”.
There is a beauty in our interconnectedness with human and beyond human life on this planet. Yet, just like the wisdom of our skin and cells, there needs to be a membrane that has the ability to discern responses to “the other”, such as: what is needed now and how much? What is needed to be let in to nourish, or what is harmful and needs to stay out? Or where can there be contact with “others” in order to be stronger? Membranes are adaptable and negotiating sense-making tools to measure ourselves in their environment.
Just as with skin, or the surface of plants, boundaries are required for interconnection.
In order to be in connection with full capacity to respond, we need to acknowledge and address the personal and collective wounds we carry. Trauma can wound the integrity of a membrane, causing separation (a strong boundary) or overwhelm (minimal boundary). This can be why we are seeing a crisis in present day mental health or the collapse of human connection with nature. On the other hand, when we can respond in the present, and not with a reaction of a learned reflex from the past, there is an increase in agency and capacity to connect and function with other systems.
With this simple experiment, one can practise navigating the world with more agency. By having access to states of a “membrane awareness” we can have a discerning sense of self awareness, be with other people’s pain and potentially minimise our distress that is often transferred when in connection with others, “take in” what nourishes our soul, and show up in the world in an embodied way.
This inquiry can be done alone, in a busy space or with another person that feels safe enough to give this a try with. Since many people have suffered from their boundaries being crossed, I would recommend first exploring these states of awareness in a space that you feel supported and held in.
Instead of the usual concept of “boundaries” being either there or not, or having to defend with a lot of effort, this is an offer to explore membranes in a more nuanced way. Since we are human, there is no way to just be in one state at a time. This is a practice of focussing for a moment on one direction of your awareness at a time. All these states are needed and useful contextually. Because of past experiences, it is possible to lose access to shift into a particular state. This can feel harmful and/or can endanger our safety in particular situations. By spending time building your awareness to each state, there can be increased access to the intention of the membrane that is needed in any particular moment.
The four states are: Inside in, Outside out, Outside in, Inside out.
Illustration credit: Julia Hoffman
Inside in keeps your inner world inside. It is a boundary that blends out the outside world. It is, for example, what happens in deep contemplation, where one’s awareness is focused on one’s inner world.
Outside out is the choice to keep the outside world outside. It is the attention one might have when sitting in the metro: fully aware of the surroundings and with strong boundaries from the “energy” of those around oneself. There is a sense of being in a protective bubble.
Outside in is the ability to allow the outside world inside to your inner being. It is a state in which we can “take in” what we are experiencing. This can be nourishing to sense the connection to others, nature, places, etc. This felt sense can run deep and remind us of being connected and belonging in the world.
Inside out is the state in which the inner world can be expressed to the outside. It is when, for example, one feels safe enough to share their grief with someone and be seen in their whole humanity.
Membranes and Entanglement Exercise
Find a comfortable space that you can be in for at least five minutes, and listen to this guided audio practice.
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Hi, I'd like to invite you to an embodied practice that explores the paradoxes of membranes and entanglement. I'm hoping that this exercise will help you increase your agency to navigate between our interconnectedness and our individuality.
This exercise supports our innate ability to choose perspectives to navigate the world that we're living in.
If you're noticing that one of the perspectives brings up discomfort, explore it. Lean into it. Observe the parts of your body, sensations or thoughts that you're aware of.
And at the end of the exercise, you can make a note of it, either sitting in contemplation, or maybe you have a piece of paper and a pen that you'd like to jot things down, or have a voice memo and go back to it another day.
So first, find a spot where you can stay for the next three to five minutes uninterrupted.
Take a deep breath.
Feel your breath moving through your body. Feel the coming and going of your breath, making space and releasing. And now imagine you have a membrane around you and you're keeping the inside in.
Keep your inner world inside. Notice what you're aware of, what sensations do you have in your body? Where exactly are these sensations? And what emotions are coming up? Maybe it's also a thought arriving. And let that go.
Take a deep breath.
And now imagine this membrane keeping the outside out. Feel into that sensation of the outside keeping out from the membrane.
Notice what shifts in your body. How does that feel? What emotions are coming up? Are there any thoughts arriving? Can you imagine this with ease, or is it a bit discomforting? Outside out.
And let that go.
And take a breath.
And now we're going to explore the outside coming in through the membrane. Just as our skin takes in air, vitamin D from the sunshine.
So imagine the membrane now semi-transparent. Observe what that does with your body. Sensations that arise.
What emotions are you aware of? Thoughts are you observing?
And let this go.
Take a breath to transition to the last exploration. The inside out.
So now the inside world goes through the membrane into the outside. Feel into that sensation. Maybe emotion.
Maybe some thoughts are arising. And do you feel ease or tension in your body? And then slowly let that go.
And take a moment now to let the exploration go. And look around your space you're in right now.
And if you feel like it, jot down the stages, the perspectives that were easy for you. What perspectives were more difficult? And how do you know this about yourself? Where do you know this in your life? This could be maybe more difficult or more easy.
Have fun exploring.
Ask yourself what it feels like to be in your body, right now?
Go through each state. Make use of what you are connected to (the floor, chair, etc) to represent the “outside” and imagine your inner world or “felt sense” that no one can see as the “inside”.
If this is challenging to for you to access your awareness of, then put a blanket on the floor and stand or sit in the middle of it. Then imagine the “outside” is everything not on the blanket. Everything “inside” is on the blanket. Stay at least a minute in each state to sense how that boundary feels for you. Is it difficult to imagine? Does it feel safe in that state? Is it easy to shift in and out of different states?
If you feel comfortable experimenting alone, what about experimenting in an interpersonal setting? Maybe there is a person you can experiment with? Or perhaps you could try it out in every-day kind of situations without anyone knowing.
For example, you could be sitting on a park bench and go through all four states. How do you connect to your surroundings with the most ease? What is the most challenging for you? How do people or animals react to you in one state or the other? I’ve practised this in crowded trains or long lines at the grocery store many times. I’ve noticed when I have a strong sense of “outside out” people tend to stay farther away from me. When I can shift into “outside in” after a busy day and focus my awareness into the stories my teens are telling me from their day, it not only fills me up with joy, I have noticed that they tend to stay longer in communication with me. Which anyone with teenagers knows is difficult to come by!
After you have spent some time with this inquiry, write your experience down. What was challenging? Where do you know this challenge in your life? Where do you know yourself to be skilled in each boundary? Which state supported ease in your body? Where can you practise these boundaries in your every day life?
